Curve Ball
I have been meaning to blog for a while...but time gets away from you and before you know it life throws you a curve ball.
As some of you know, I found out I was pregnant in December. Joy filled our happy home especially my son. He has been asking for a sibling for a while now. Everything seemed to be going well. We went in for my routine 12 week ultra sound and blood work. As we watched the screen...we both knew something was wrong. I knew the baby didn't look like it should at this stage, there was no heartbeat, no bloodflow...nothing. I feel bad for the technician how horrible to have to break this news. And at that moment and the rest of this day I have felt like this is happening to someone else. This isn't real.
But it is.
Today we found out that this pregnancy is over.
Heartbreak and sorrow overcome both of us. Jeff took on the unpleasant responsibility of calling our closest family and friends. Of course everyone sends prayers and happy thoughts. (all of which are very welcome) But it's hard for people to know what to say. The truth is there are no words...and that's ok because honestly I don't have a good response myself.
We (Jeff, Carson and I) need time to grieve the plans we had for our family. Carson was, of course, very sad but incredibly sweet. I think he said it best..."we are a sad family right now". We need to let it all sink in.
Miscarriages are more common than people think. And it's really easy to blame yourself. But I know this is not my fault. These things happen. It doesn't take the hurt out of it, but with any curve ball life throws your way, you have to take a moment then move through it.
Thank you family and friends for you love and support. Please understand that we may need a little time. But life marches on and I have so many blessings to be grateful for in my life.
As some of you know, I found out I was pregnant in December. Joy filled our happy home especially my son. He has been asking for a sibling for a while now. Everything seemed to be going well. We went in for my routine 12 week ultra sound and blood work. As we watched the screen...we both knew something was wrong. I knew the baby didn't look like it should at this stage, there was no heartbeat, no bloodflow...nothing. I feel bad for the technician how horrible to have to break this news. And at that moment and the rest of this day I have felt like this is happening to someone else. This isn't real.
But it is.
Today we found out that this pregnancy is over.
Heartbreak and sorrow overcome both of us. Jeff took on the unpleasant responsibility of calling our closest family and friends. Of course everyone sends prayers and happy thoughts. (all of which are very welcome) But it's hard for people to know what to say. The truth is there are no words...and that's ok because honestly I don't have a good response myself.
We (Jeff, Carson and I) need time to grieve the plans we had for our family. Carson was, of course, very sad but incredibly sweet. I think he said it best..."we are a sad family right now". We need to let it all sink in.
Miscarriages are more common than people think. And it's really easy to blame yourself. But I know this is not my fault. These things happen. It doesn't take the hurt out of it, but with any curve ball life throws your way, you have to take a moment then move through it.
Thank you family and friends for you love and support. Please understand that we may need a little time. But life marches on and I have so many blessings to be grateful for in my life.
♥ “Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” -Jean Kerr
We love y'all and wish there was a way to take some of the hurt for you. As with so many others, I can't begin to know the path you guys have to travel. Please know that we love you and pray for your hearts to heal.
ReplyDelete